Compilation from the net..Jokes on Michael Owen!

Oh, Michael..

1. The career of players like Michael Owen could be well and truly over after the prospect of a return for artificial pitches looked set to bring back the classic knee graze. The PFA have demanded to know why players may be subjected to those showers where you gently move your leg into the water only to scream out in absolute agony as the stinging sensation takes effect.

2. David Blaine is apparently gutted at the minute. He has discovered his 44 day record of doing fuck all in a box has been smashed by Michael Owen

3. Football star Michael Owen has released a new fragrance. It's set to be called 'My cologne '.

4. Michael Owen is to leave Man Utd, his agent says many clubs have shown an interest in signing him as they believe he has a good year in him. It was 1998.

5. I hate it when the wife wears a United Michael Owen shirt to bed. It's her way of letting me know I wont be scoring that night
 
6. There has been an increase in unemployment within Manchester, doctors have announced as Michael Owen leaves United.

Without  a club shirt.

7. Michael Owen say's he wont retire after being released by Man Utd. He also said he's still undecided on which club he'll be injured for next season.

8. Following Paul Scholes retirement from football, Michael Owen has announced that his retirement has been delayed by injury.


9. Alex Ferguson: "Michael, get your tracksuit off, son"
Michael Owen: "Am I going on to save the day, boss?"
Alex Ferguson: "No son... Giggsy's getting cold."

 10. George Bush, The Pope, Michael Owen and a little boy are on a plane together.
The engines explode simultaneously and the plane begins to hurtle towards the ground. The passengers look for the parachutes and are horrified to find there are only three when they need four.
Michael Owen grabs the first one and says, "I am Michael Owen and the footballing world needs me!" Then he jumps out of the plane.
George Bush grabs another and says, "I am George Bush! I am the smartest man in America and my country needs me to run it!" Then he jumps out of the plane.
Only the Pope and the little boy are left. The Pope says, "I am an old man and have lived my time, you take the parachute, little boy, you have a whole life ahead of you."
The little boy replies, "Don't worry, old man, there are enough parachutes for both of us. The smartest man in America just took my rucksack!

11.  Michael Owen's transfer to Stoke is now in doubt. Whilst signing the contract he managed to break his wrist in three places.

"I'm gonnae sell Andy Carroll!"